How to deal with offended heart

But still, many times God allows offenses to come because offenses are instructive to us, and they teach us – when you are offended, the true state of your heart is revealed! Even to the people who are close to you, God allows the offense to come between you to reveal the true heart of that person towards you.

By: Pastor Ovet Tamayo

2 Tim 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

Periodically, God comes to check and probe our hearts and our motives why do we do what we do? We need to ask ourselves, what have we done with what God has given us? If you were hungry and thirsty for God, definitely you would have changed, you would have been transformed – you are no longer the same person as you were before because you dealt with your heart! If you change your heart, you change your life!  This is the season where God is dealing with the heart – He has set His plumb line and is calling all of us into account; He is measuring our motives and intentions.

What is the heart?

It is the Greek word kardia or kardias,  it is the center and seat of spiritual life, the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavors, it is our conscience.

Matt 15:18-20  But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.  19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.  20 These are the things which defile a man ...NKJV

Prov 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

What Are The Causes Of   A Hardened Heart?







What is an offense?

It is the Greek word skandalizo or skandalon, which means to put a snare (trap) or stumbling block in the way, an attack, it is the English word scandal or scandalous. An offense is an occasion to fall and into sin, it is a trap of the enemy to get you hooked in your hurt so you will sin against God! An offense is intended by the enemy to rob us of our purpose, destiny, and harmonious relationship with God and with other people! An offense takes place in the heart and not in the mind; it causes one to be angry or hurt, or feel insulted or feel being attacked.

Many people never reach their purposes in God because they were offended, many go back to the world and rebel against God and this has even caused them to go to hell because they were trapped in their offense. Even John the Baptist was offended with God when he landed in jail, he questioned whether Jesus was indeed the Messiah or was there someone else coming – he was offended of Jesus because He was not able to get him out of jail!

Matt 11:2-3  When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples 3 to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

The root of every offense is Immaturity! The root of all immaturity is the Ego! Ego is the “I” or self, it is selfish, self-serving, self-seeking, self-absorbed, self-promoting, self-involved, love for self; these are all rooted in PRIDE, where I is at the center! If you are offended or harbor any offense, you cannot receive an anointing because God and offense cannot co-exist with one another! During preaching or counseling, if you harbor any offense against me, then you cannot receive anything that I will give because you are offended, then your life would not be transformed, it will remain the same!

Why do we need to learn this Pastor? We need to learn and be ready with this because we are all going to face and experience offense anywhere we go, in your work, school, church, and yes even in your own family! We need to be ready on how to deal with offense! Offenses are the tools of the enemy in the last days; it is a sign of the end-times! No one can avoid them no matter what you do!

Luke 17:1 then said he unto the disciples, it is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! KJV

But when a man is matured, he will offend less and he will be offended less! Majority of the people who had left the church was because they were offended, it doesn’t mean they are right or they are wrong, I mean they got offended that’s why they left! Offenses have caused churches to split, marriages to break, families to separate, and organizations to dissolve – the enemy had his day when all these was happening! Offense is a very powerful weapon of Satan! There were so many blessings lost, even more were withheld because of pains and hurts that were not dealt with – you will never get a breakthrough in your life and ministry until you get a breakthrough on offenses!

Prov 18:19   A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. NKJV

But still, many times God allows offenses to come because offenses are instructive to us, and they teach us – when you are offended, the true state of your heart is revealed! Even to the people who are close to you, God allows the offense to come between you to reveal the true heart of that person towards you! In the church, God reveals the hearts of the people when they are offended with the message of the Pastor, God exposes not to humiliate, but to transform them so God can do even greater things in that church – It’s Time For Change!

But when people are unwilling to change, they become a hindrance to the plans of God, He will take them out of the church so He can fulfill His plans and purposes for the people who are faithful and willing to submit and be changed! Those who were taken out by God loses their opportunity to be used by God in these last days, and if they stay in their offense, unwilling to forgive and even attack their former church, eventually they will go back to the world, lose their favor, even their salvation!

Many have lived a life of hypocrisy, they display a form of godliness, but deny its power to change and be reformed – they lose out on what God has prepared for them! Anybody who is offended could easily betray anybody, even his best friend, his loved one, even his leader! This is a sign of the end times!

Matt 24:10  And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. NKJV

Don’t Let This Prophecy Become True In Your Life, We Must Be The Exemption To The Rule! We must learn to forgive and forget all offenses done to us or against us so we can move on to the higher level of Gods purpose! God has something bigger and greater, but we must release all our offenses!

One of the areas people get offended is when they see you or others prospering – in your business, work, ministry, family, while they are not growing! A way of overcoming this offense is by rejoicing with other peoples blessings – remember that it is God who gives favor, it is God who promotes, and all Glory belongs to God! When you rejoice with the blessings of others, that will qualify you for your next blessing; if you bless others, God will bless you even more! Others may be legally, greatly, justifiably offended – they did what was right according to Gods Word, and still they were stabbed at the back – that’s not fair they would say, I’ll keep my offense!

But even if they were right, and everyone is right in their own eyes – you still have no right to keep your offense! No one can say that I am justifiably and legally offended – I will just keep my hurts! Remember that what they did to Jesus wasn’t right also! If you came struggling with an offense, God is still ready and He wants to pour out a blessing on you, but you need to release your offense, or else the blessing will just pour out and not sink into you, the heart is hard and will not accept it! You need to be transformed – you cannot change your environment, your office, your school, your community, unless you are transformed!

You will be transformed when you are corrected, but correction will not happen unless we accept it with humility. Humility is the ability to open our hearts to the move of God – to accept that His ways are better than our ways that His plans are better than ours! Correction happens for your protection, it will bring direction to further your assignment and your purpose – otherwise you will be lost! An immature person will never accept correction in his/her lifetime because you will always have a justification, an answer to everything! That’s the reason immature people never grow but remains stagnant in many areas of their lives!

Immature people think they are right and everybody else is wrong – they get offended when they are called to be accountable for their responsibilities and to the things they do wrong. They are offended when they are told that they are accountable to their marriage – husband to wife and wife to husband; children to parents and parents to children! When you get offended when you are being corrected by your Spiritual Father or Pastor or leader – that’s one big sign:


You need to grow up if you want the purposes of God to be fulfilled in your life! All matured people are responsible and are accountable for their actions while immature people are double minded – they want something today and want something else tomorrow! Immature people don’t know what God has given them – we need to understand this: Every person was given by God a jurisdiction, territory, realm, ethnos, and dimension, where you are assigned to, and where ever God has assigned you, there you will multiply and prosper, and you will fulfill Gods purposes for you! Don’t be double minded and focus on what God has given you!

Immature people are not able to exercise effective leadership – leadership means influence – they reproduce their own immaturity because you will always produce your own kind, your own DNA! We cannot continue on our offenses, every time we keep an offense we are withholding something from heaven that could never come to us because of offense! Every time we keep an offense, we just keep on going back to an ugly past – when the hurt happened, when we first felt that pain, Keeping an offense means living in history, not being able to move forward – like living in the grave we dug for ourselves!

An offense is the source of many sicknesses!

We must forgive! We must mature!