Men At Work - The Good Man

“A good man is a man who longs above all to have a strong marriage, because a strong marriage will always produce a strong family; and strong families will always produce strong societies!”

By: Pastor Ovet T. Tamayo

The world today is filled with males; males who lack an understanding of their God given design and purpose for their families and society in general. So many males today are confused into thinking that the fulfillment of our cultural, social and traditional roles is what would make us happy in this life. Many even believe that the role of women today is to make them happy and satisfied, not knowing that it’s the other way around; make your wife happy and you will receive the happiness you so desire.

Some statistics:

  • 93% of crimes are perpetrated by males;
  • 92% of all prisoners in most countries are males;
  • 89% of all domestic violence are perpetuated by males;
  • 83% of all school drop-outs are males! Females are marrying males that cannot generate enough income to support their families because of lack of education.
  • 74% of all unwanted babies (even abortion) are those of females having relations with men who do not want to get married;
  • 92% of all gang members are males;
  • 78% of all drug dealers are males – that means drug problems in the country are being spread by males; and
  • 78% of all broken families are caused by infidelity of the male.

WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES OF A GOOD MAN? A good man is a man who longs above all to have a strong marriage, because a strong marriage will always produce a strong family; and strong families will always produce strong societies. The good man would strive very hard to make his wife happy, and only when the wife is happy can there really be joy and peace in the home. If you want to be happy in your life and in your home, make your wife happy!

If we would ask the male today: “what do you think would make your spouse happy?”Many would say “provision”– be a good provider, money for shopping, spa or parlor; build her a beautiful house and a brand new car; still others will say “good sex!” YOU ARE WRONG!

 “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, and 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (Ephesians 5:25 / 28-29 and 31 NIV)

PRIMARY NEEDS OF THE FEMALE: LOVE, CONVERSATION & AFFECTION

THE FEMALE’S NEED FOR LOVE: Receiving “Love” is a woman's greatest need. God created the female so that the male would have someone with whom to share earthly love.To love means to cherish and to care for. Because she was created for the purpose of receiving love, a woman just doesn’t desire love, she truly requires it. As much as a man need to know that he is respected, a woman needs to feel that she is loved. A woman wants to feel that she is important and special to her husband. When a man spends time with a woman, it makes her feel cherished because she knows she comes first in his life. She feels cared for when he goes out of his way to make sure she everything she needs.

THE FEMALE’S NEED FOR CONVERSATION: Because males have a leadership mindset, sometimes their conversations with their wives amount to instructions rather than a give-and-take dialogue. A woman needs a man to talk with her, not talk at her. Many men don’t realize that a woman has a need to express herself and therefore has much within her that she wants to share. To truly meet her need, he should talk with her at the feeling level and not just at the knowledge and information level. Men need to listen and be sensitive with their interest and concern offering his full attention and understanding. A male needs to share his interests, a female needs conversation.

THE FEMALE’S NEED FOR AFFECTION: While one of mans primary need is sex, one of the females primary need is affection. If these two needs are not lovingly understood and balanced, they can cause some of the worst conflict in marriage. The woman’s natural focus is on the sensory, intuitive, and emotional realms of life.

  • Sensory- sensual, bodily, physical, carnal and fleshy;
  • Intuitive- by instinct, built-in, sensitive, knowing automatically; and
  • Emotional- easily affected by emotions, expressive, touching, exciting.

 A woman needs an atmosphere of affection in order to feel loved and fulfilled. Men need to understand that affection creates the environment for sexual union in marriage, while sex is the event. Most men don’t realize this so they immediately go after the event, they don’t know how to create an environment of affection. This is because they only focus on their own need.

Affection is something that a man has to initiate, and if he does not know how, he should sincerely and gently ask his wife. Giving affection to a woman means appealing to that which makes her an emotional being which leads to a wonderful marriage. Sometimes a woman just needs for her husband to sit down with her and to just hold her; often just plainly giving her plenty of hugs and kisses.